Well, I am fine. Out and about and as good as new. Whew ! That was a long haul. But now I am finally finding my way back to my body again and doesn’t it feel fabulous.
Before my famous fall I had started to wear a pedometer with the goal of walking at least 10,000 steps a day, which is recommended for optimum fitness. When I first crawled out of my convalescent bed I put the pedometer back on and measured my first attempts at hobbling about. I could only handle around 400 steps a day.
Now, a month later, I am doing 10-11,000 steps every other day. I walk every morning — in the park if I possibly can. Starting the day in nature, walking through the woods and along streams sets me up for the entire day. It is more nourishing than breakfast.
In a couple of weeks I will get back to my water aerobics class. It is still too cold. Even though the pool is indoors and the gym is quite warm and everyone else in the class (all of whom are older than me) manages to get there rain or shine or snow, I just can’t seem to be able to rouse myself from my flannel sheets to go jump in the water.
But my excuses are almost over. As soon as the weather warms up to the 50’s I’ll be there. The water movement will be great for strengthening and stretching my weakened and stiff muscles. Besides, it is fun and I love it. And I can have a sauna afterward.
Yoga is another story. I am craving the forward bends and stretches and sometimes stop in the middle of working to bend down to my toes and just hang out, as it were, for a minute or so. It releases tension and feels like a mini vacation.
But it really hurts to stand on my knees for any of the table positions or the child pose. Even so, I will start to do some of my yoga tapes and skip the parts I can’t do.
Last week I went to a belly dance extravaganza. The music is so mesmerizing and invigorating and the dancers were so sensual and lithe, it made me want to take lessons. My friend Suzanne said that she would take them with me, which is great because without her I would be the only chubby middle aged woman among all the young sprites. Now we will be two Queen goddesses!
I have never, NEVER been an active, athletic person, but something about having been injured and immobile for so long has lit a fire under me. And for the first time in my life I have wanted to exercise, move, groove. What fun!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Queen’s Chronicles: MORE LESSONS OF THE FALL
just when the power of positive thinking
had me thinking i had some control
i got knocked to my knees by a hot dog wagon.
not flattened not thrown not knowing what hit me
just knocked to my knees and forced to bow down.
—DH 1974
This is the 10th week after the fall and I am pretty much back together again. While I was fortunate not to have had a more serious injury from my December fall, my convalescence has been quite slow, nonetheless. Shocking, really, just how slow. This winter has been a long and leisurely one during which I completely hibernated. I concentrated on healing myself and also worked to understand and integrate the many-layered lessons of the fall.
Gratitude, first and foremost, was Lesson Number One. While normally I am quite conscious of my appreciation for my life and living, everyone’s attitude of gratitude can stand a periodic upgrading.
I fell at home in my own office, rather than somewhere out on the road during all my travels of the past three years. Cookie was there and helped me instantly. I was nursed and massaged and reikied and shiatsued and reflexed, accupunctured and blessed, and materially supported in every possible generous manner.
Grateful hardly expresses how I felt. I celebrated every tiny victory of movement and mobility as a dramatic miracle. I was ever so thankful for each small pleasure. The first time I could roll over in bed! Hurray! The first time I could bend my leg! The first time I could put on my own sock! The first time I left the walker and used a cane! The first time I took the dog out! The first time I walked around the block! And this morning when I left the house for the first time without my cane! Life is such a miracle. I am eternally grateful to be part of it.
Miracles seem to rest, not so much upon
faces or voices or healing power coming
suddenly near to us from far off, but upon
our perceptions being made finer so that
for a moment our eyes can see and our ears
can hear that which is about us always.
—Willa Cather
Beyond the parameters of this particular incident, I was reminded of how much I love this world — life, nature, creatures, comforts, beauty. Just how precious and tenuous it all is. In light of September 11th and this horrible war, we are all struggling to keep that crucial 911 emergency lesson foremost in our minds at all times. How important it is to raise and praise the universal spirit at every turn. Be Here Now. Live Life. Be Great and Full. Thank All Goodness.
When I first landed on the floor, I thought that I would just sit there for a few seconds, catch my breath and then continue with my packed agenda. I would shoulder through, like always. But within minutes of the fall it became painfully — excruciatingly — obvious that there was no way that I could possibly carry on as normal. I had fallen down on the job, as it were, and my only option was to sit still.
Letting Go, Lesson Number Two, was an insistent, obstinate, merciless task-mistress who would accept nothing less than total vulnerability, absolute humility, and hopefully at the end of the day, some measure of grace.
I do not understand the mystery of grace —
only that it meets us where we are, but
does not leave us where it found us.
—Anne LaMott
Asking for Help, Lesson Number Three, always a hard one for me, became much easier after I allowed myself to let go of all those macho martyr assumptions that I perpetrate upon myself. Such as thinking I can be a bottomless source of never-ending energy without ever having to replenish my own reserves. Such as feeling — like so many caregivers, healers, and light workers do — that everyone else’s needs must be dealt with before my own, me being in the line of service, after all. Such as resisting well meant offers of assistance.
Before the fall, if someone volunteered to give me a massage, I would invariably demure. “Thanks so much. I really appreciate it, but that’s O.K.” Meaning what? That I didn’t need anything? That I didn’t deserve anything? Now, during my winter of healing, I was becoming able to over-ride my ego and say, “Yes, please, I do need help. I am in trouble here. Thank you so much. I am so grateful”
Learning How to Attend to My Own Requirements and Boundaries and how to take as loving good care of myself as I do of others is Lesson Number Four. I have been struggling to learn this lesson for decades. It is clearly my Life Lesson. I keep thinking that I have learned it. But then something comes along to remind me how much more I have to improve. I have managed quite well over the years to sustain myself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It is on the material and physical plane that I tend to fall down, as it were. As the I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes has reminded me time and time again over the past thirty years, “Feed the cow.” How else can the poor dear give milk, after all?
So, the lessons contemplated and understood, if not yet completely integrated, I emerge from my accident determined to heal myself for once and for all. It is time. I cannot continue to push myself beyond the max. I definitely can’t keep falling.
I acknowledge that though I am most definitely a Queen, I am not omnipotent. That I do need help from time to time. That I do have needs and that I need to honor and enforce them. That in addition to being Mama Donna to the world, I need to be mother to myself, as well.
I promise myself to respect my limitations of strength, energy, time, and resources. I promise to continue to be grateful for each breath that allows me to live this precious life and to value it in its entirety. And most important of all, I pledge to allow myself to sit down occasionally, to lie down, even, so that I don’t have to fall down to get some rest.
L’Chaim,
xxQueen Mama Donna
had me thinking i had some control
i got knocked to my knees by a hot dog wagon.
not flattened not thrown not knowing what hit me
just knocked to my knees and forced to bow down.
—DH 1974
This is the 10th week after the fall and I am pretty much back together again. While I was fortunate not to have had a more serious injury from my December fall, my convalescence has been quite slow, nonetheless. Shocking, really, just how slow. This winter has been a long and leisurely one during which I completely hibernated. I concentrated on healing myself and also worked to understand and integrate the many-layered lessons of the fall.
Gratitude, first and foremost, was Lesson Number One. While normally I am quite conscious of my appreciation for my life and living, everyone’s attitude of gratitude can stand a periodic upgrading.
I fell at home in my own office, rather than somewhere out on the road during all my travels of the past three years. Cookie was there and helped me instantly. I was nursed and massaged and reikied and shiatsued and reflexed, accupunctured and blessed, and materially supported in every possible generous manner.
Grateful hardly expresses how I felt. I celebrated every tiny victory of movement and mobility as a dramatic miracle. I was ever so thankful for each small pleasure. The first time I could roll over in bed! Hurray! The first time I could bend my leg! The first time I could put on my own sock! The first time I left the walker and used a cane! The first time I took the dog out! The first time I walked around the block! And this morning when I left the house for the first time without my cane! Life is such a miracle. I am eternally grateful to be part of it.
Miracles seem to rest, not so much upon
faces or voices or healing power coming
suddenly near to us from far off, but upon
our perceptions being made finer so that
for a moment our eyes can see and our ears
can hear that which is about us always.
—Willa Cather
Beyond the parameters of this particular incident, I was reminded of how much I love this world — life, nature, creatures, comforts, beauty. Just how precious and tenuous it all is. In light of September 11th and this horrible war, we are all struggling to keep that crucial 911 emergency lesson foremost in our minds at all times. How important it is to raise and praise the universal spirit at every turn. Be Here Now. Live Life. Be Great and Full. Thank All Goodness.
When I first landed on the floor, I thought that I would just sit there for a few seconds, catch my breath and then continue with my packed agenda. I would shoulder through, like always. But within minutes of the fall it became painfully — excruciatingly — obvious that there was no way that I could possibly carry on as normal. I had fallen down on the job, as it were, and my only option was to sit still.
Letting Go, Lesson Number Two, was an insistent, obstinate, merciless task-mistress who would accept nothing less than total vulnerability, absolute humility, and hopefully at the end of the day, some measure of grace.
I do not understand the mystery of grace —
only that it meets us where we are, but
does not leave us where it found us.
—Anne LaMott
Asking for Help, Lesson Number Three, always a hard one for me, became much easier after I allowed myself to let go of all those macho martyr assumptions that I perpetrate upon myself. Such as thinking I can be a bottomless source of never-ending energy without ever having to replenish my own reserves. Such as feeling — like so many caregivers, healers, and light workers do — that everyone else’s needs must be dealt with before my own, me being in the line of service, after all. Such as resisting well meant offers of assistance.
Before the fall, if someone volunteered to give me a massage, I would invariably demure. “Thanks so much. I really appreciate it, but that’s O.K.” Meaning what? That I didn’t need anything? That I didn’t deserve anything? Now, during my winter of healing, I was becoming able to over-ride my ego and say, “Yes, please, I do need help. I am in trouble here. Thank you so much. I am so grateful”
Learning How to Attend to My Own Requirements and Boundaries and how to take as loving good care of myself as I do of others is Lesson Number Four. I have been struggling to learn this lesson for decades. It is clearly my Life Lesson. I keep thinking that I have learned it. But then something comes along to remind me how much more I have to improve. I have managed quite well over the years to sustain myself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It is on the material and physical plane that I tend to fall down, as it were. As the I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes has reminded me time and time again over the past thirty years, “Feed the cow.” How else can the poor dear give milk, after all?
So, the lessons contemplated and understood, if not yet completely integrated, I emerge from my accident determined to heal myself for once and for all. It is time. I cannot continue to push myself beyond the max. I definitely can’t keep falling.
I acknowledge that though I am most definitely a Queen, I am not omnipotent. That I do need help from time to time. That I do have needs and that I need to honor and enforce them. That in addition to being Mama Donna to the world, I need to be mother to myself, as well.
I promise myself to respect my limitations of strength, energy, time, and resources. I promise to continue to be grateful for each breath that allows me to live this precious life and to value it in its entirety. And most important of all, I pledge to allow myself to sit down occasionally, to lie down, even, so that I don’t have to fall down to get some rest.
L’Chaim,
xxQueen Mama Donna
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The Queen’s Chronicles: ASHES, ASHES, ALL FALL DOWN
The emails responding to my fall keep coming in. And so so many many of them relate stories of their own recent falls. The number is staggering. What is going on? It is like the ground is being pulled out from under our feet.
These are women and men from all over the country and beyond. Is there a common denominator that connects us? Is this a general trend? What is going on?
Well, there does seem to be a connection. I did notice that almost to a person, everyone on this list is either a spiritual practitioner/healer or an artist of some sort. We are all cultural creatives, out-of-the-box thinkers, visionaries, empaths, seers.
We are the first responders. And, with our world so seriously out of whack, there is a lot to respond to these days. We are surrounded by unhealthy, unstable, toxic conditions. There is so much pain and suffering, exploitation and domination on our poor beleaguered planet.
And we tend to take it all in. To take it upon ourselves to fix, to transform whatever/whoever needs help. Whenever. We are overwhelmed. We are exhausted. Is it any wonder we are shaky on our feet?
Here are some of the letters. What do you think is going on?
I am writing because I have fallen twice in the past month, and that is HIGHLY UNUSUAL. I have been feeling less sure-footed and "out of the flow" just enough to have it be on the front burner of my awareness. Therefore, when you wrote that others in your circle have reported falling lately, and it peaked your curiosity, I couldn't resist writing and introducing myself. So, thank you for your New Year reminder of the importance that we be solidly grounded. I am adding that to my intentions.
-Susan, CA
I wanted to let you know that I also fell a month ago in the kitchen of the Harrisburg Unitarian Church. Yes, I do need to be more centered. There were many healers on hand when I fell. I have recovered with much help also. Aren't sisters great? Peace,
-Randa, PA
I know how you must feel since I fell on ice a few weeks ago and tore tendons in my shoulder and rotator cuff. It's been very painful.
-Vince, NY
As you mention the trend of many of us falling, I have to report that my best friend in Florida took a tumble (for no apparent reason), broke her arm and hand in three places and had two surgeries. After reading your note, I stopped and recalled that I've fallen (flat out down on the ground — and once rolling) three times in the past six months. Every time, I've gotten up, stunned that I'd not gotten seriously hurt. Not even a bruise. Blessed be.
-August, CA
Funny thing, the likelihood of falling again, whether spiritually or physically, is sometimes great if you don't watch your footing along the path. I stumble quite a bit myself with my head in the clouds and all. Just the other day I was so taken with the beautiful deer in my backyard, I fell right out the backdoor....geeeez....right smack dab on my keester. It wasn't a graceful fall either. First the ankle went sideways, the elbow hit the siding twisting the arm as I tried to stop myself and then the whole body went into this type of goofy mode as I continued my descent to the concrete. It was quite a sight to behold. Needless to say, I was sore for a couple days but not too bad. Thank Goddess for extra padding in the caboose!
-Kimi, NJ
This Mars retrograde causing accidents, especially when combined with anger, speed and fatigue. It is opposing Pluto for the next couple of days and we all should be careful. I fell on my right shoulder 3 times between April and July and was very injured. I had a slight fall this afternoon as well. I am going to be very careful for the next month, especially the next few days.
-Nan, TX
My brother-in-law in Rochester, NY, fell two weeks ago today and broke 3 ribs. Needless to say, he's been in quite a bit on discomfort & pain. However, your words about people falling reminded me, too, that I've been hearing a lot about peoples' falls. Lots of them. Certainly will pass that "awareness" along & remind folks to slow down and be careful.
-Pam, NY
I also have tripped and fallen a lot of times this year, and I now go downstairs like an old lady. I also fell going up the stairs near the swimming pool and I injured a rib. Very painful and it took 6 weeks to heal! Also still have a lump on knee from another fall! With me I think it is that I forget to lift my legs enough. But it must be a common occurrence in "Older" people, because we got a leaflet through the door the other day, which invited us to come to a meeting (of old age pensioners!) to learn how to avoid falling! Yuck!
-Bé, England
I just fell down the stairs and hurt my back.
-Emma, NY
My friend’s husband, a young man, fell down the stairs on his way to work. He broke is neck and died instantly. What a tragedy.
-dava, VA
I just tripped over my dog and broke both arms.
John, FL
I was so sorry to read about your fall, then I had one, too — in the darkest dark, out checking to see if the car was locked, slipping on a wet rock, going down on my tail bone. Now I am on drugs and a walker for 8-10 weeks and it hurts.
-Jo, AZ
Having taken several nasty falls myself (the last of which entailed a 3-day hospital stay due to fractured ribs and a collapsed lung), I know how painful recovery can be. And I know how frustrating immobility can be! Active minds demand active bodies.
Smoky, IL
Thanks for this post about slow life
Hmmmmmmmm
I just fell last week
Toooooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhh everything
Sending rest & love to usssssssssssssss
-Linda, NY
Funny — I fell walking my friend's dog and sprained my ankle. I put too much ice on it and got burns and also cracked my left pinky finger — now taped together. I am in constant pain and will take months to recover. Yes, my friend also fell on black ice upstate — sad — she is in lots of pain. Don’t know if it is cosmic or what, but so many of my friends have been falling also. Wonder what these falls mean? Please pray for me too. Thanks.
-Naomi, NJ
We are fragile in such funny ways. So strong and then, our bodies... I am taking care of my mother. She fell walking home and fractured her kneecap. She is 89.
-Annie, MA
I too fell the other day, on my knee, outside. Maybe bad weather for priestesses. I'm certain it's karmic.
Marion, NY
I know what it is to fall and sprain/break things, having experienced it myself not too long ago. This may be an astrologically prone time for falling, because Gail's brother-in-law AND her sister both fell within one day of each other, one broke his femur and the other her arm and wrist.
-Charoula, OH
Thanks for reminding us to stay grounded. I, too, have heard about people falling down.
-Sheryll, CA
Very strange point about many others falling. My mother has been experiencing this to the point where she's been going in for all kinds of tests to find out what's wrong.
-Lauren, NJ
I am so glad you are recovering and taking a moment of rest. I think the cosmic effect of so many falling is just that. Slowing us all down a beat.
-Ra-el, CA
We're thrilled to hear you are doing much better. Your accident gave you an opportunity to receive love and healing exclusively, instead of giving it all the time. If there are people in your circle who are also falling, it is probably because (like attracts like!) they are also generous, loving, giving people who needed to be forced to sit still and receive love, nurturing and healing. Does it make sense now?
Love, peace and blessings,
Marcy, NY
And here is a lovely affirmation from a reader that I would like to share with you:
I, Queen Mama Donna (Insert your name here.)
keep my feet firmly planted
in the love I have for myself
and the love others have for me.
I am always steady on my feet.
When I fall, I fall only into love.
-Rev. Deborah L. Roberts, WI
With blessings of balance,
xxQueen Mama Donna
These are women and men from all over the country and beyond. Is there a common denominator that connects us? Is this a general trend? What is going on?
Well, there does seem to be a connection. I did notice that almost to a person, everyone on this list is either a spiritual practitioner/healer or an artist of some sort. We are all cultural creatives, out-of-the-box thinkers, visionaries, empaths, seers.
We are the first responders. And, with our world so seriously out of whack, there is a lot to respond to these days. We are surrounded by unhealthy, unstable, toxic conditions. There is so much pain and suffering, exploitation and domination on our poor beleaguered planet.
And we tend to take it all in. To take it upon ourselves to fix, to transform whatever/whoever needs help. Whenever. We are overwhelmed. We are exhausted. Is it any wonder we are shaky on our feet?
Here are some of the letters. What do you think is going on?
I am writing because I have fallen twice in the past month, and that is HIGHLY UNUSUAL. I have been feeling less sure-footed and "out of the flow" just enough to have it be on the front burner of my awareness. Therefore, when you wrote that others in your circle have reported falling lately, and it peaked your curiosity, I couldn't resist writing and introducing myself. So, thank you for your New Year reminder of the importance that we be solidly grounded. I am adding that to my intentions.
-Susan, CA
I wanted to let you know that I also fell a month ago in the kitchen of the Harrisburg Unitarian Church. Yes, I do need to be more centered. There were many healers on hand when I fell. I have recovered with much help also. Aren't sisters great? Peace,
-Randa, PA
I know how you must feel since I fell on ice a few weeks ago and tore tendons in my shoulder and rotator cuff. It's been very painful.
-Vince, NY
As you mention the trend of many of us falling, I have to report that my best friend in Florida took a tumble (for no apparent reason), broke her arm and hand in three places and had two surgeries. After reading your note, I stopped and recalled that I've fallen (flat out down on the ground — and once rolling) three times in the past six months. Every time, I've gotten up, stunned that I'd not gotten seriously hurt. Not even a bruise. Blessed be.
-August, CA
Funny thing, the likelihood of falling again, whether spiritually or physically, is sometimes great if you don't watch your footing along the path. I stumble quite a bit myself with my head in the clouds and all. Just the other day I was so taken with the beautiful deer in my backyard, I fell right out the backdoor....geeeez....right smack dab on my keester. It wasn't a graceful fall either. First the ankle went sideways, the elbow hit the siding twisting the arm as I tried to stop myself and then the whole body went into this type of goofy mode as I continued my descent to the concrete. It was quite a sight to behold. Needless to say, I was sore for a couple days but not too bad. Thank Goddess for extra padding in the caboose!
-Kimi, NJ
This Mars retrograde causing accidents, especially when combined with anger, speed and fatigue. It is opposing Pluto for the next couple of days and we all should be careful. I fell on my right shoulder 3 times between April and July and was very injured. I had a slight fall this afternoon as well. I am going to be very careful for the next month, especially the next few days.
-Nan, TX
My brother-in-law in Rochester, NY, fell two weeks ago today and broke 3 ribs. Needless to say, he's been in quite a bit on discomfort & pain. However, your words about people falling reminded me, too, that I've been hearing a lot about peoples' falls. Lots of them. Certainly will pass that "awareness" along & remind folks to slow down and be careful.
-Pam, NY
I also have tripped and fallen a lot of times this year, and I now go downstairs like an old lady. I also fell going up the stairs near the swimming pool and I injured a rib. Very painful and it took 6 weeks to heal! Also still have a lump on knee from another fall! With me I think it is that I forget to lift my legs enough. But it must be a common occurrence in "Older" people, because we got a leaflet through the door the other day, which invited us to come to a meeting (of old age pensioners!) to learn how to avoid falling! Yuck!
-Bé, England
I just fell down the stairs and hurt my back.
-Emma, NY
My friend’s husband, a young man, fell down the stairs on his way to work. He broke is neck and died instantly. What a tragedy.
-dava, VA
I just tripped over my dog and broke both arms.
John, FL
I was so sorry to read about your fall, then I had one, too — in the darkest dark, out checking to see if the car was locked, slipping on a wet rock, going down on my tail bone. Now I am on drugs and a walker for 8-10 weeks and it hurts.
-Jo, AZ
Having taken several nasty falls myself (the last of which entailed a 3-day hospital stay due to fractured ribs and a collapsed lung), I know how painful recovery can be. And I know how frustrating immobility can be! Active minds demand active bodies.
Smoky, IL
Thanks for this post about slow life
Hmmmmmmmm
I just fell last week
Toooooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhh everything
Sending rest & love to usssssssssssssss
-Linda, NY
Funny — I fell walking my friend's dog and sprained my ankle. I put too much ice on it and got burns and also cracked my left pinky finger — now taped together. I am in constant pain and will take months to recover. Yes, my friend also fell on black ice upstate — sad — she is in lots of pain. Don’t know if it is cosmic or what, but so many of my friends have been falling also. Wonder what these falls mean? Please pray for me too. Thanks.
-Naomi, NJ
We are fragile in such funny ways. So strong and then, our bodies... I am taking care of my mother. She fell walking home and fractured her kneecap. She is 89.
-Annie, MA
I too fell the other day, on my knee, outside. Maybe bad weather for priestesses. I'm certain it's karmic.
Marion, NY
I know what it is to fall and sprain/break things, having experienced it myself not too long ago. This may be an astrologically prone time for falling, because Gail's brother-in-law AND her sister both fell within one day of each other, one broke his femur and the other her arm and wrist.
-Charoula, OH
Thanks for reminding us to stay grounded. I, too, have heard about people falling down.
-Sheryll, CA
Very strange point about many others falling. My mother has been experiencing this to the point where she's been going in for all kinds of tests to find out what's wrong.
-Lauren, NJ
I am so glad you are recovering and taking a moment of rest. I think the cosmic effect of so many falling is just that. Slowing us all down a beat.
-Ra-el, CA
We're thrilled to hear you are doing much better. Your accident gave you an opportunity to receive love and healing exclusively, instead of giving it all the time. If there are people in your circle who are also falling, it is probably because (like attracts like!) they are also generous, loving, giving people who needed to be forced to sit still and receive love, nurturing and healing. Does it make sense now?
Love, peace and blessings,
Marcy, NY
And here is a lovely affirmation from a reader that I would like to share with you:
I, Queen Mama Donna (Insert your name here.)
keep my feet firmly planted
in the love I have for myself
and the love others have for me.
I am always steady on my feet.
When I fall, I fall only into love.
-Rev. Deborah L. Roberts, WI
With blessings of balance,
xxQueen Mama Donna
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Queen’s Chronicles: LESSONS OF THE FALL
Well, it has been quite a ride since my fall. Or, to be more precise, it has been a non-ride, a total no-go for nearly two months.
To make a long, painful convalescence short, I have had an enforced period of rest and slow living, which I have so desperately needed for a very long time. Which is probably why I fell in the first place. My body really needed to sit down and stay put for a while. For weeks on end, as it turned out.
I have had quite a few nasty falls in my adult life, five this year alone. Some people fall ill when they are overworked and overwhelmed. I just fall. Fall down on the job, as it were. I keep keeping on until I am standing on my last leg which can no longer support me. And so then I fall.
Clearly the lesson is in learning my own limitations. In honoring my own exhaustion. In slowing down for a change. In stopping while I am still standing. In being kind and indulgent to my Self. In respecting my royal prerogative to rest when I feel like it.
Sound familiar?
We Queens live lives enriched by our own hard won sense of purpose, passion and power. We live in an expanded universe of possibility as we strive to fulfill our own best potential, and at the same time further the causes that we promote for the good of all.
We hold positions of influence and responsibility. We are directed and enthusiastic. We are excited and charged. We are also, some of us, driven. There is, after all, so much to do and so little time. We are raring to go. And go. And go. And keep right on going.
My dear, regal sisters, we mustn’t allow ourselves to get carried away by busyness. (Do you hear me, Queen Mama Donna?) It is so easy for the demands of the outer world to lure us away from our essential Selves, to sever us from our own inner center of gravity.
This internal/eternal Self is what gives us our energy, our inspiration and our moral authority. If we lose contact with our soul being, we lose our balance, our perspective and our effectiveness. We lose everything.
We must, for the sake of our Selves, for the sake of each other, for the sake of our entire beleaguered planet, make our Self-care become a priority. Let us take the time to nap, to meditate, to walk under the trees, to stare out the window. Time to be. There is so much at stake.
We must be vigilant Queens, unrelenting in the defense of the sanctity and sovereignty of our own Self-concern — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual — if we are to be fit, wise and worthy enough to rule our domains.
May we enter this new year with both feet on the ground, firmly rooted and steady. May we stand in our center, unshakeable.
To make a long, painful convalescence short, I have had an enforced period of rest and slow living, which I have so desperately needed for a very long time. Which is probably why I fell in the first place. My body really needed to sit down and stay put for a while. For weeks on end, as it turned out.
I have had quite a few nasty falls in my adult life, five this year alone. Some people fall ill when they are overworked and overwhelmed. I just fall. Fall down on the job, as it were. I keep keeping on until I am standing on my last leg which can no longer support me. And so then I fall.
Clearly the lesson is in learning my own limitations. In honoring my own exhaustion. In slowing down for a change. In stopping while I am still standing. In being kind and indulgent to my Self. In respecting my royal prerogative to rest when I feel like it.
Sound familiar?
We Queens live lives enriched by our own hard won sense of purpose, passion and power. We live in an expanded universe of possibility as we strive to fulfill our own best potential, and at the same time further the causes that we promote for the good of all.
We hold positions of influence and responsibility. We are directed and enthusiastic. We are excited and charged. We are also, some of us, driven. There is, after all, so much to do and so little time. We are raring to go. And go. And go. And keep right on going.
My dear, regal sisters, we mustn’t allow ourselves to get carried away by busyness. (Do you hear me, Queen Mama Donna?) It is so easy for the demands of the outer world to lure us away from our essential Selves, to sever us from our own inner center of gravity.
This internal/eternal Self is what gives us our energy, our inspiration and our moral authority. If we lose contact with our soul being, we lose our balance, our perspective and our effectiveness. We lose everything.
We must, for the sake of our Selves, for the sake of each other, for the sake of our entire beleaguered planet, make our Self-care become a priority. Let us take the time to nap, to meditate, to walk under the trees, to stare out the window. Time to be. There is so much at stake.
We must be vigilant Queens, unrelenting in the defense of the sanctity and sovereignty of our own Self-concern — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual — if we are to be fit, wise and worthy enough to rule our domains.
May we enter this new year with both feet on the ground, firmly rooted and steady. May we stand in our center, unshakeable.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The Queen’s Chronicles: FALL DOWN GO BOOM
One month ago today I fell in my office. I don't know what happened. Falling is a funny (though definitely NOT humorous) thing. One minute you are going about your business and the next, you are on the floor.
As I crashed down, I heard an ominous POP. Luckily, my dear assistant was here. And also luckily, I was able to see my acupuncturist right away. I did not break anything, but I tore my psoas muscle. I never even knew I had one. Never heard the word before. But I learned that it is a very major muscle, one of the largest in the body. It encircles the lower torso like a girdle and connects the pelvis, hips and spine. Essentially, it holds the upper and lower parts of the body together.
The first thing everyone asked was whether I had broken anything. I might have been better off if I had. Apparently, an injured muscle is much more painful and takes much longer to heal than a broken bone. Indeed, the pain in my groin and sciatic region has been excruciating.
I have been seeing my acupuncturist regularly and have received some miraculous energy healing, as well as reiki and homeopathic remedies. These have all helped enormously, but mainly what was and still is needed is total rest. I used a walker for a couple of weeks, which made it easier to get to and from the bathroom, but I stayed in bed most of the time.
Every day brought a small (SMALL) improvement in terms of pain and also range of motion. I am grateful, because I am a zillion times better now, but I still hurt when I step on my right leg and am exhausted by every step I attempt. After 4 weeks, it is clear that this will be a long haul to total recovery of my mobility.
My healers tell me that I need at least another week of serious bed rest and I am glad to comply, because I do feel like I need it. But the good news is that I have been hobbling without the walker and use the cane less and less. So all of the rest and treatments have been working marvelously. And by next week, I should be up and about in some fashion — surely not at my usually intensity, but I will not be bedridden any more!
I am overwhelmed with the tremendous support that I received this month. When word went out about my accident, my spiritual communities — my students, clients, readers, and colleagues came through for me both spiritually and physically in so many wonderful ways.
I received thousands of emails and cards from all across the country as well as Canada, England, Spain, Greece, Australia, and Iceland, which cheered me no end. Also, poems and prayers to inspire me, lots of great advice as to healing modalities, gifts of ointments
and oils and liniments, long distance reiki and healing, and money to help defray all the costs in a month when I could not work.
How can I ever express the depth of my gratitude? Your love and support humbles me and makes me so proud.
I did notice something troubling in all the emails that I have been receiving. So many of you have also been falling of late. An amazing number of you have been tumbling down and receiving a wide array of injuries of your own. Is this cosmic? I don't know. But I want to
suggest that we all be a little more aware, a little more careful, a little more centered as we negotiate our lives.
These are disorienting and troubling times and we need to be solidly grounded. The world needs us to be strong and healthy — ready, willing, and able to care for ourselves, each other, and our poor precious planet.
I send blessings of gratitude and healing to you all. May we enter this new year with both feet on the ground and our ideals and ethics, our prayers and blessings, our best intentions of love and peace soaring above in heavenly majesty.
xxMama Donna
As I crashed down, I heard an ominous POP. Luckily, my dear assistant was here. And also luckily, I was able to see my acupuncturist right away. I did not break anything, but I tore my psoas muscle. I never even knew I had one. Never heard the word before. But I learned that it is a very major muscle, one of the largest in the body. It encircles the lower torso like a girdle and connects the pelvis, hips and spine. Essentially, it holds the upper and lower parts of the body together.
The first thing everyone asked was whether I had broken anything. I might have been better off if I had. Apparently, an injured muscle is much more painful and takes much longer to heal than a broken bone. Indeed, the pain in my groin and sciatic region has been excruciating.
I have been seeing my acupuncturist regularly and have received some miraculous energy healing, as well as reiki and homeopathic remedies. These have all helped enormously, but mainly what was and still is needed is total rest. I used a walker for a couple of weeks, which made it easier to get to and from the bathroom, but I stayed in bed most of the time.
Every day brought a small (SMALL) improvement in terms of pain and also range of motion. I am grateful, because I am a zillion times better now, but I still hurt when I step on my right leg and am exhausted by every step I attempt. After 4 weeks, it is clear that this will be a long haul to total recovery of my mobility.
My healers tell me that I need at least another week of serious bed rest and I am glad to comply, because I do feel like I need it. But the good news is that I have been hobbling without the walker and use the cane less and less. So all of the rest and treatments have been working marvelously. And by next week, I should be up and about in some fashion — surely not at my usually intensity, but I will not be bedridden any more!
I am overwhelmed with the tremendous support that I received this month. When word went out about my accident, my spiritual communities — my students, clients, readers, and colleagues came through for me both spiritually and physically in so many wonderful ways.
I received thousands of emails and cards from all across the country as well as Canada, England, Spain, Greece, Australia, and Iceland, which cheered me no end. Also, poems and prayers to inspire me, lots of great advice as to healing modalities, gifts of ointments
and oils and liniments, long distance reiki and healing, and money to help defray all the costs in a month when I could not work.
How can I ever express the depth of my gratitude? Your love and support humbles me and makes me so proud.
I did notice something troubling in all the emails that I have been receiving. So many of you have also been falling of late. An amazing number of you have been tumbling down and receiving a wide array of injuries of your own. Is this cosmic? I don't know. But I want to
suggest that we all be a little more aware, a little more careful, a little more centered as we negotiate our lives.
These are disorienting and troubling times and we need to be solidly grounded. The world needs us to be strong and healthy — ready, willing, and able to care for ourselves, each other, and our poor precious planet.
I send blessings of gratitude and healing to you all. May we enter this new year with both feet on the ground and our ideals and ethics, our prayers and blessings, our best intentions of love and peace soaring above in heavenly majesty.
xxMama Donna
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
The Queen’s Chronicles: SOUP FOR THE SOUL
I am so glad and grateful to be snug at home during these two darkest weeks of the year. At the Winter Solstice, the sun returns to the northern hemisphere and the days will become incrementally longer. So, the two following the solstice will be equally dark, but the energy will be different. We will be beginning to emerge from the dark. Right down we are descending ever further down into it.
In the stark dark of the season in the dark of the long night we are compelled to turn inward toward the center. Drawn by an irresistible magnetic force, we are pulled inside of ourselves, inside of our homes, inside of our relationships for the comfort, warmth, love, safety and peace that we seek.
Because it is difficult to see in the dark, our other senses are awakened and called into action to guide us through the gloom. If we pay careful attention, we can smell and taste the flavors of excitement, affection and creativity and. If we listen very carefully, we can hear the buzz of life that surrounds us and if we keep still enough, we can feel the energizing charge that radiates throughout the universe warming us from within.
But we need to dig deep to feel the heat just now. The sun is absent. The air is chilled. The Earth, Herself, is cold as death. The only heat left is locked deep inside the molten core in the middle of our deepest selves.
The heart is the center of our being. It is the buried treasure that rewards us when we dare to travel the dark tunnels that lead to the essence of our soul. It is the furnace from which radiates the heat, the power and passion of our lives. The heart is the most honest manifestation of our authentic self. The seat of our heart’s desire, the grace that lies at the heart of all that matters.
The hearth is the heart of the home. It is the high altar of the art and craft of living. Its central heat fuels the most basic and most profound daily rituals of nurturing, sustenance, support and cheer. The hearth stokes the healthy spirit that comes from physical ease and emotional fulfillment.
My home hearth calls me so insistently these days. “You are home with us,” it cries with joy. “Come cook!”
And cook I have. I made a surprisingly super-luscious coq au vin. Surprising, because I had never made this dish before and I just sort of made it up, guided by my longing for blissful candle-lit home-cooked dinners. I made zucchini in tomato sauce, which I froze in small containers in anticipation of future zucchini pastas and omelets and zucchini au gratin.
But I mainly made soup. Great pots of lentil, black bean, mushroom barley and cabbage soup. My freezer is full of single-and-double-portion-size jars of soup. And I am not souped out yet. Still on my to do list are chili, chicken ginger spinach, chicken vegetable, Scotch broth, cram of tomato, and gumbo. I am a kitchen goddess concocting potions and brews and spells of happy home and hearth and heart.
Let us all use this time of darkness well. Let us explore our hearts and souls for the insight, inspiration and enlightenment that we may find there. Let us worship at the domestic shrine and share the holy sacraments of soup and stew, mulled cider and cocoa. Let us open our hearts and our homes to all of the possibilities of love. Let us create peace in our hearts, in our homes and in the world.
In the stark dark of the season in the dark of the long night we are compelled to turn inward toward the center. Drawn by an irresistible magnetic force, we are pulled inside of ourselves, inside of our homes, inside of our relationships for the comfort, warmth, love, safety and peace that we seek.
Because it is difficult to see in the dark, our other senses are awakened and called into action to guide us through the gloom. If we pay careful attention, we can smell and taste the flavors of excitement, affection and creativity and. If we listen very carefully, we can hear the buzz of life that surrounds us and if we keep still enough, we can feel the energizing charge that radiates throughout the universe warming us from within.
But we need to dig deep to feel the heat just now. The sun is absent. The air is chilled. The Earth, Herself, is cold as death. The only heat left is locked deep inside the molten core in the middle of our deepest selves.
The heart is the center of our being. It is the buried treasure that rewards us when we dare to travel the dark tunnels that lead to the essence of our soul. It is the furnace from which radiates the heat, the power and passion of our lives. The heart is the most honest manifestation of our authentic self. The seat of our heart’s desire, the grace that lies at the heart of all that matters.
The hearth is the heart of the home. It is the high altar of the art and craft of living. Its central heat fuels the most basic and most profound daily rituals of nurturing, sustenance, support and cheer. The hearth stokes the healthy spirit that comes from physical ease and emotional fulfillment.
My home hearth calls me so insistently these days. “You are home with us,” it cries with joy. “Come cook!”
And cook I have. I made a surprisingly super-luscious coq au vin. Surprising, because I had never made this dish before and I just sort of made it up, guided by my longing for blissful candle-lit home-cooked dinners. I made zucchini in tomato sauce, which I froze in small containers in anticipation of future zucchini pastas and omelets and zucchini au gratin.
But I mainly made soup. Great pots of lentil, black bean, mushroom barley and cabbage soup. My freezer is full of single-and-double-portion-size jars of soup. And I am not souped out yet. Still on my to do list are chili, chicken ginger spinach, chicken vegetable, Scotch broth, cram of tomato, and gumbo. I am a kitchen goddess concocting potions and brews and spells of happy home and hearth and heart.
Let us all use this time of darkness well. Let us explore our hearts and souls for the insight, inspiration and enlightenment that we may find there. Let us worship at the domestic shrine and share the holy sacraments of soup and stew, mulled cider and cocoa. Let us open our hearts and our homes to all of the possibilities of love. Let us create peace in our hearts, in our homes and in the world.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The Queen’s Chronicles: HARVESTS OF GRATITUDE
To all my dear ones,
When the going is good and the living is easy it seems only natural to be thankful. But what about all those times when nothing seems to flow? When energy is blocked and life flows like a river of glue.
When we are stuck in the rush hour traffic jam of dailiness and our bodies and souls start to feel like banged up bumper cars? When things seem so crazy and out of whack that we wonder what do we have to be thankful for?
“Well,” as my dear friend Daile once wisely and calmly commented in the midst of a work disaster that would normally have driven her mad, “at least nobody died.” That's it, exactly. Perspective.
The trick is to be able to maintain a healthy perspective. If we can manage to do that, we will automatically enjoy a perpetual attitude of gratitude.
People who have themselves been ill and those who caretake others have earned a certain understanding of this point of view. Everything is relative (in both senses of that word). For most of us, though, it is a daily, hourly, minutely learned lesson — one that we tend to forget in the flurry.
Here is a moving meditation to help us remember:
Take a walk someplace nice. Alone.
With each step you take, name one good thing that you have in your life. Say this aloud or silently.
Step.
My health.
Step.
My love.
Step.
My dog.
Step.
My network of circles.
Step.
The clouds.
Step.
The beautiful moon.
Step.
Trees.
Step.
A new friend.
Step.
That certain memory.
Step.
Not knowing war.
Step.
A secure home.
Step.
Two feet.
Step.
My heart, my soul, my spirit.
The list is endless.
Gratitude boundless.
Thank Goodness!
I am especially thankful for all the heartwarming support you showed me this year and expressed in so many wonderful ways. You bought my books. Thank you. You came to my workshops. Thank you. You forwarded my messages to your own circles of friends and family. Thank you. You wrote me amazing letters filled with spirit and soul. Thank you.
I would have to walk the entire length of the Great Wall of China in order to name each great gift that I received from you. Thank you all so, so much.
With bountiful blessings of fulfillment and peace,
xxQueen Mama Donna
When the going is good and the living is easy it seems only natural to be thankful. But what about all those times when nothing seems to flow? When energy is blocked and life flows like a river of glue.
When we are stuck in the rush hour traffic jam of dailiness and our bodies and souls start to feel like banged up bumper cars? When things seem so crazy and out of whack that we wonder what do we have to be thankful for?
“Well,” as my dear friend Daile once wisely and calmly commented in the midst of a work disaster that would normally have driven her mad, “at least nobody died.” That's it, exactly. Perspective.
The trick is to be able to maintain a healthy perspective. If we can manage to do that, we will automatically enjoy a perpetual attitude of gratitude.
People who have themselves been ill and those who caretake others have earned a certain understanding of this point of view. Everything is relative (in both senses of that word). For most of us, though, it is a daily, hourly, minutely learned lesson — one that we tend to forget in the flurry.
Here is a moving meditation to help us remember:
Take a walk someplace nice. Alone.
With each step you take, name one good thing that you have in your life. Say this aloud or silently.
Step.
My health.
Step.
My love.
Step.
My dog.
Step.
My network of circles.
Step.
The clouds.
Step.
The beautiful moon.
Step.
Trees.
Step.
A new friend.
Step.
That certain memory.
Step.
Not knowing war.
Step.
A secure home.
Step.
Two feet.
Step.
My heart, my soul, my spirit.
The list is endless.
Gratitude boundless.
Thank Goodness!
I am especially thankful for all the heartwarming support you showed me this year and expressed in so many wonderful ways. You bought my books. Thank you. You came to my workshops. Thank you. You forwarded my messages to your own circles of friends and family. Thank you. You wrote me amazing letters filled with spirit and soul. Thank you.
I would have to walk the entire length of the Great Wall of China in order to name each great gift that I received from you. Thank you all so, so much.
With bountiful blessings of fulfillment and peace,
xxQueen Mama Donna
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